


End of the Beginning

by SuperRedRobin (SweetFanfics)



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-13
Updated: 2012-12-13
Packaged: 2017-11-21 01:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/592069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/SuperRedRobin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on Julie's Baby Jack AU. Kon's agreed to move in with Tim and help raise Jack but that doesn't mean that everything's alright. In fact, it's far from alright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	End of the Beginning

Moving in with Tim had stemmed from the simple desire of not wanting Jack to feel like he had about Clark. Kon wanted his son to never feel want for a father, or both fathers’ in this case. He wanted to be there for his son, as unexpected as  _that_  bomb shell had been. Kon just didn’t want Jack to  _ever_  feel unloved or unwanted.  
  


Which is why he had agreed with Tim. Agreed that they should be together and raise Jack together. It had seemed like the best option they had available. To live together and try to be together for the sake of their son. It was hard to believe that it had barely been four months since they had started this living arrangement…  
  


Though, in all honestly, it had been a  _bitter_  pill to swallow at the start. Bitter because of his anger and frustration that Tim would do something like this…It’s like the worst kind of betrayal. Made even worse because it’s  _Tim_. It felt more and more difficult to keep the lid shut tight on the resentment that threatened to overflow. Not to mention that angry feeling that always bubbling underneath his skin and overflowed over his tongue in harsh words every time Tim would try to correct him.  
  


But that feeling had begun to recede in the previous few days. Especially since…  
  


Kon sighed, shaking his head gently from side to side as continued to rock Jack in his arms. The babe’s cries had reduced to soft hiccups and even those were slowly melting into whimpers. But he just wouldn’t settle down.  
  


He could recall reading something about how the baby could tell when their parent was feeling unsettled and was affected by it. Though he wouldn’t really describe how he was feeling as…well, maybe he was a  _little_  unsettled. Mostly, he just felt confused and really  _really_  shitty.  
  


—  
  


_Tim gave Kon and Jack a concerned look as the meta gently tossed the baby up in the air before catching up. The babe’s happy laughter filled the open room, growing louder when Kon used his TTK to keep Jack hovering over him._   
  


_“Can you please not do that?” he asked before he could stop himself. He couldn’t stop himself from worrying that something might go wrong. It was only natural right?_   
  


_But Kon simply gave him a cool, cursory look. And spoke to Jack in a voice filled with cheer. “You wanna fly around the room buddy? C’mon lets go!”_   
  


_Pressing his lips together, Tim watched for a moment as Kon helped their laughing son around the living room and wished that he could convince himself that he had just imagined the quick, almost spiteful look he had seen in Kon’s eyes._   
  


_He wanted to speak out, to stop Kon. But he was scared that Kon might walk out in his anger._   
  


_And not come back this time._   
  


—  
  


Sighing, Kon continued to rock the squirming child in his arms.  
  


“C’mon buddy.” he gently urged his son. “Y’ gotta go to sleep now or else you’re gonna be  _really_ cranky later on.”  
  


But Jack didn’t seem interested in sleep. He was more interested in trying to squirm out of his pale blanket and wailing in a way that was painful to hear. Kon felt his heart twist in distress, wanting with all his being for Jack to calm down. Because it  _hurt_  to hear Jack in such distress.   
  


The sudden feeling made him pause for a split second. This sudden sense of… _belonging_  fill him. And it’s  _strange_.  
  


For the past two weeks, he’s felt  _trapped_. Stuck in an arrangement that felt more like a ball and chain attached to his ankle. The first week had been hellish. Trying to get used to having another person sleeping next to him on a strange bed, being woken up at strange hours in the middle of the night because of the baby. Not to mention the wailing that would start during the day and he’d be left wondering if he had to change Jack’s diapers or feed him or check if he was too hot or too cold or too uncomfortable…  
  


It had been over whelming and  _taxing_  on his nerves. Trying to deal with a baby while attempting to deal with how he felt about Tim doing this. It was strange how he never felt resentful or mad whenever he held Jack. But he  _did_  feel that way when he’d see Tim. Not every time but…some times. Those feelings simmered and stewed away inside of him, growing hot and light inside his chest sometimes. Especially in the middle of the night when Jack would cry out for his meal.  
  


Those feelings made it easy to stay in bed and wait for Tim to go and soothe the baby. It was more Tim’s responsibility anyways…he was the one responsible for this whole situation. Besides, Tim was the night owl between them. Better Tim than himself.  
  


The thought made his heart sting and ache. Shifting Jack to his shoulder, Kon slowly paced the apartment whilst he patted the baby’s back gently. Humming a nonsensical tune that somehow turned into ‘Don’t Stop Believing’, Kon felt a stab of guilt at his previous thought.  
  


—  
  


 _“This whole situation is_ your _fault.” Kon snaps, not caring a whit if his raised voice was to wake Jack up. “I didn’t ask for this! I never wanted this!” Which is a half truth but Tim doesn’t know that._  
  


_“I’m outta here.”_ _He turns around, ready to leave and just cool his head before he does something stupid._   
  


_But Tim’s hand snaps out, takes hold of the edge of his t-shirt. Kon doesn’t stop because of the sudden jerk he feels. But because of Tim’s broken tone. “…I can’t lose you again.”_   
  


_Irritation and anger rising up yet again, Kon presses two fingers against the throbbing going on behind his left eye. “Why not? Can’t you just clone more?” The words are sharp and filled with malicious intent. It makes a large part of Tim cringe and curl up, quietly accepting of the words that he deserves._   
  


_Because they are true. Oh so, painfully, true.  He feels weak. So very weak as he continues to hang onto the meta. Tim wishes he could scrounge up the energy to get up on his feet and face Kon. But he doesn’t know where his strength has gone too. And where he finds the energy to_ speak _is a wonder unto itself._  
  


_“Please Kon. Don’t go.” He pleads to the floor, voice kept low so as to not disturb Jack. “What can I do to make you stay?”_   
  


_“Why do you need me to stay?” Kon continues, voice becoming more bitter as he speaks. “Or do you just need_ more _of my DNA?”_  
  


_There is a long moment of silence between them, an impasse. Kon staring in front of him as Tim continues to stare at the torn hems of Kon’s jeans. The loose threads rest peacefully against a black boot, frayed and torn in a way that Tim feels on the inside._   
  


_The longer the silence stretches, the more he feels the last of his energy sap out. Kon’s words ring in his ears. He can’t help but comment quietly, “That was a bit…harsh.”_   
  


_He barely manages to process when Kon spins around on his heel and pushes him down on the bed. Kon’s hand is a hard pressure right in the middle of his chest, a few inches away from his throbbing heart. There’s an angry flush on Kon’s face, ugly and irritated as the teen barks out. “No!”_   
  


_Tim can tell that his eyes are wide open and he feels cold. So_ cold _and scared of what Kon might say but resigned that he deserves to hear them. He watches through a growing blur as Kon suddenly closes his eyes. The pained expression doesn’t match the tone in which Kon declares, “_ _Don’t you even_ start _talking to me about harsh!”_  
  


 _“Don’t even…” Just the way Kon says those words makes Tim turn his face away. He can’t bear seeing Kon like this. Can’t stand hearing him sound so_  broken _and_ defeated _. “You’re not the fucking victim here.”_  
  


 _The tears fall at those words. Two hot trails dripping out of his eyes and dropping on the bedsheets. Strong fingers grab his chin and force his face away from where he had been trying to hide. Tim wants to whimper but instead squeezes his eyes shut. Good and tight so that he can’t see the face that declares, “_ Don’t _look away.”_  
  


 _Kon’s grip on his face grows tight, painfully so. It makes Tim slowly open his eyes and take a good look at how conflicted Kon looks. “I want to hate you…” The meta whispers kneeling over Tim. Those words made the child in him cry harder in his small corner. Make him cover his ears and scream for Kon to stop. His lungs hurt. He can’t breathe. Rocking back and forth in a dark corner of his mind, Tim cries and wills for this pain to just_ stop.  
  


 _“I want to hate you…_ so bad _, so I can walk away.” The thought of that makes Tim almost surge up underneath Kon’s hands. Both of which are resting near his collar bone._ _But Kon is lowering himself closer. Until there is no distance between them._

_“But I can’t.”_   
  


_A sob gets trapped between them right before Kon leans in that final few centimeters and presses their lips together. For one brief moment Tim remembers how to breath and takes in a quick, surprised intake of breath. And just as quickly forgets it because Kon is kissing him. Too hard but it’s still a kiss._   
  


_Or can it still count as a kiss when he’s too sad and too desperate and making him want to scream and throw something against a wall? Kon’s hands rest gently against his chest but the meta’s lips are almost punishing as they take and take and take. And Tim just accepts and gives. Because it’s true…he’s at fault._   
  


_—_   
  


They had never spoken of that moment again. Kon had swept it under the rug as an impulsive move that he shouldn’t have acted upon and Tim had gone along with it. He hadn’t questioned it or brought it up and Kon was grateful for that. Even though he felt uncomfortable at forcing a kiss like that on Tim.  
  


The guilty feeling grows and twists around his stomach in a vice like grip. Jack senses his discomfort and cries louder. God, how he wishes that Tim was here right now. Though it irks him more than he cares to admit it bbut Jack is just more connected to Tim than himself. Their son is far more attached to Tim than Kon and  _dammit_ , it  _hurts_. It just  _hurts_  that he’ll be walking around for more than hour trying to soothe Jack and he won’t calm down. But it’ll take Tim barely fifteen minutes and Jack will be out like a light.  
  


But he changes his mind, Kon is  _glad_  that Tim  _isn’t_  here to hear this. He’s glad that Tim has gone out for a quick visit to Dick regarding some case. Because Tim’s face always got so drawn and tight every time Jack would cry in pain or distress. It was just painful to look at some times. And right now, even though he had a crying baby to soothe…it was still some time to think and clear his head. And ponder certain thoughts and instances that he has only begun to notice.  
  


Like just when did the fetters around his body turn into wings? Just when did that heavy, sinking feel transform into this bubbly, warmth that made him feel like he was perpetually floating? When did his ball and chain disappear and why didn’t he notice it before? When had the feeling of self pity disappeared like it had never been there?  
  


His thoughts begin to scatter like pieces of torn paper flying apart because of a gust of wind. Kon felt selfish, petty,  _childish_  as he considered the way he had been behaving in the past days. He had been harsh and  _cruel_  towards Tim. There was just no other way to describe it.  
  


Left and right, every chance that he had gotten. Kon had been  _mean_  towards Tim  _on purpose_. Instead of dealing with the situation in an adult manner, Kon had acted like a child and just…dumped it all on Tim. Making all kinds of digs at Tim and being pleased at the guarded look that would fall over Tim’s face after his comments.  
  


When had he become such a complete and utter, insensitive  _bastard_?  
  


Kon wasn’t completely sure if the urge to cry was rising because Jack’s wails or the aching inside his chest.  
  


—  
  


_Tim’s new hobby is to watch Jack and Kon together. Father and son have bonded together in a way that you could never suspect that Kon hadn’t been there for the first four months. Jack has grown extremely fond of the meta. It’s a sight to see when the pair ‘talk’._   
  


_Like they are right now. Kon’s got a magazine floating in front of them as he reads an article and keeps making comments. Every time he asks Jack something, the baby boy gives his dad a toothless smile and a happy gurgle. Seeing Jack so happy warms every part of him in a way no fire could. It’s inside to outside, spreading and growing warmer with every happy baby noise._   
  


_However…for once…Tim doesn’t feel happy or proud as he sees the pair interact right now. He just feels indescribably_ sad.  _Watching Kon doting and just_ adoring _his son like this…watching him lavish all his care and love on their son makes something rattle inside the growing hollow feeling inside of him._  
  


_He couldn’t help but note that Kon hadn’t looked at him with such…love or care since they had started this arrangement. Hell. The last time Kon had looked at him with anything other than scorn or any other negative emotion had been before the fight with Prime. And that thought made his heart thump painfully. To see Kon being capable of such gentleness…and have none of it directed towards him._   
  


_But how could he blame the man?_ _Tim watched Kon ask Jack if they should turn the page. The baby gurgled and babbled in baby talk. He couldn’t…what he_  could _do however, was to accept Kon’s anger. Because it was justified. Kon had a right to be angry and confused. He was just a kid who was suddenly faced with this responsibility that he had never anticipated. It was understandable._  
  


 _There was a rich laugh that joined Jack’s happy laugh and again Tim felt something just_ lurch _inside his chest. No, he couldn’t blame Kon at all. What he_ would _do was accept whatever Kon would throw at him._  
  


_And pray that he wouldn’t break._   
  


_—_   
  


Kon had been too caught up in his own selfish feelings to never notice Tim’s anguish. He had been too caught up in hurting Tim for catching him off guard…for giving into his despair…for being so  _human_ and making a mistake.  
  


Granted this mistake had more consequences than others but…  
  


The point was that Kon was a selfish bastard who had been too caught up in his own hurt feelings to notice just how  _hurt_  Tim was. Just how much  _he had hurt Tim_. And Tim… stupid, idiotic,  _brave_  Tim had just accepted it all with all the grace of a martyr.  
  


And yet a part of him wasn’t all too surprised at the realization. Because it was  _Tim_  and this is how Tim was. Taking the world up on his shoulders, trying to deal with everything, just internalizing _everything_  and never really speaking out when he should have. That he would just hold on and never say a word against all the  _shit_  that Kon had thrown his way.  
  


There was something…ironic in the fact that what had tipped him off was not Tim’s silence. It had been his hands. It had been Tim’s body that had began to teach him the extent of the man’s pain and burden. The slight tremor in those pale hands that would show at harsh words. The stiffening and sudden full body jerk that would show itself at a sharp look.  
  


And most curiously, the way Tim wouldn’t return to bed after putting Jack to sleep at night. One night, Kon had stayed half awake to listen to Jack falling back asleep. Soon enough, the baby boy was fed, burped and fast asleep. After that, his mind had swam in and out of consciousness but he had not forgotten the lack of another warm body coming back to bed.The panicked heart beat pounding underneath Tim’s skin and bones whenever Kon would raise his voice. The way Tim would just forget to  _breathe_  in those moments…  
  


Coming to the realization that he was  _hurting_  Tim because of his childish behavior was the worst. Almost as bad trying to come to terms with his heritage…It had left him weak and nauseated. And _guilty_. Thinking of all the hurtful things that he had said to Tim, thinking about only himself…and how Tim must have felt hearing them…  
  


Swallowing past the large lump in his throat, Kon shushed Jack again. Recalling how the babe had been soothed when he had sang aloud, Kon began to softly sing. Mind half on the lyrics, Kon wondered why he hadn’t seen it sooner? Why hadn’t he realized sooner that his life right now was hardly a trap requiring his self pity? What had taken him so long to  _appreciate_  the fact that he had his own family? His  _own…_  
  


And why… _why_  had it taken him so  _long_  to see that this situation…it was a simple eventuality? That if it had not been now then  _some day_ , he would have had it with Tim anyways. Because there were some things in life that Kon could swear by. Ma’s apple pies, Pa’s solid advice and never wanting to let go of Tim. Of wanting to keep Tim in his life in  _any_  capacity but preferably in a close, romantic role.  
  


It had been an old dream to be that close to Tim. But he had ruthlessly quashed it down. Until he had come back. Kon had been ready to take a chance…he had his courage gathered and ready to  _fight_  to be with Tim. But then he had found out about Jack and just felt so… _thrown_  for a loop that he had…  
  


A small burp from the tiny body in his arms pulled Kon out of his painful thoughts. Checking Jack, Kon carefully shifted the baby in his arms. Noting the rapidly lowered lashes, Kon shifted to humming nursery rhymes as he paced. Holding his breath, Kon prays that Jack will go to sleep peacefully now.  
  


He feels beyond relieved (and tired!) when he places Jack into his crib. The colorful mobile sways in place, quickly stopped by Kon in the vague fear that even the slight motion might wake Jack up again. Standing there, he watches Jack’s hands flail around for a few moments before he settles down to sleep.  
  


That only serves to remind him of the night he had woken up to find Tim sneaking out of the bedroom. Kon hadn’t been sure what made him carefully follow Tim outside. And barely ten minutes later, he had wished that he hadn’t.  
  


—  
  


_He needed some time alone. Tim barely managed to slide into his little ‘Bat lair’ as Kon had dubbed it before the tears started to fall. One hand braced against a table, Tim hung his head and just let the tears fall out._   
  


_All the anger and sorrow of the day falling out of him in the shape of small, salty tears. Tim isn’t even_ completely _sure where all these tears are coming from or_ why _for that matter. But he needs to do this…he_ needs _to get them out every night o_ _r else…he isn’t sure what he’ll do._  
  


_Soon enough, it becomes hard to breath. And he tries to hold back the sobbing breaths but he chokes on them. He chokes on every sob and that only makes him cry harder. Every sob that rattles his frame makes the tears fall faster._   
  


_Tim feels alone and helpless. He wants someone to hold him and tell him that everything will be alright again. No. That’s not right. He wants_ Kon _to hold him and tell him that they will genuinely make it through. Tim doesn’t want to see the cool blue eyes judging him. He can’t bear that any longer._  
  


 _If he sees Kon’s eyes looking at him as though they’re looking at a stranger…or a villain…Tim isn’t sure what he’ll do. However, he_ is _sure that he wouldn’t say anything. He’s gotten to the point of being perpetually tongue tied every time Kon taunts him. It’s funny how it still hurts him…_  
  


_Covering his mouth with his hand, Tim tries to control himself. Tries to muffle the sobs_ _as best as he can. But the soft noises still echo around him. Loud enough to cover the sound of a body accidentally hitting the door frame._   
  


—  
  


Yes.  
  


 _That_  had been the true turning point.  
  


 _That_  had been when Kon had truly opened his eyes and  _seen_  how damaged Tim was because of him.  
  


Kon had suddenly began to notice the pale color of Tim’s face. The black circles carefully hidden underneath a thin coat of concealer. But the clear smell of make-up was something Tim forgot to take into account. And there was no concealer or make-up within Tim’s reach that could hide the red, puffy eyes in the morning.  
  


After that night, Kon took to lying awake in bed and keeping an ear on Tim. For the next two nights, Tim returned to bed after taking care of Jack. And Kon was ready to think that it was a simple fluke. Except the very next night, Tim sneaks down into his lair to break down.  
  


It was an incredibly sobering realization if he were true. It made him quiet and begin to reevaluate…well, _everything_. Admittedly, he began to avoid Tim just a little bit out of fear that he might hurt Tim more. For a few weeks, Tim and Kon played this strange dance of avoiding each other not exactly on purpose and every time they did, they handled each other with kiddie gloves.  
  


But the worst… _the very worst_  realization had come only  _yesterday_.  
  


—  
  


 _Tim wasn’t sure exactly_ how _he should approach Kon. The meta was sitting with Jack in his lap, playing with him more than finishing his homework. He had come into the room and gone back up twice now. And continued to just…hover uncomfortably as he wondered how to ask Kon to take Jack._  
  


_His eyes flitted over to the wall clock on the far wall_ _and decided to go for broke. Taking a few steps forward, he opened his mouth to speak. “Kon?”_   
  


_Surprised blue eyes came up to meet his._   
  


—  
  


Tim had  _flinched_  at that. When Kon had just looked up with a question on his lips, Tim had looked at him as though…as though he was  _afraid_  of him.  
  


That had killed his mood  _and_  question at the same time. Apparently it had had the same effect on Tim as well. Who had quietly asked if he could take Jack out shopping for some new clothes. Too hurt and taken aback by that flash he had seen on Tim’s face, Kon had wordlessly handed the baby over.  
  


And then spent the next two hours staring blankly out into space wondering how the  _hell_  it had gotten _so_   _fucked up_. His heart ached and his head  _hurt_  at the same time. Feeling like the worst scum of the universe, Kon sat on the sofa and wanted to cry himself too. Hell, just remembering the fear flashing over Tim’s face made him want to cry right  _now._  
  


Sitting down heavily on the bed, Kon stares at the clock for a long moment before realizing that he should probably have something to eat. But he feels too queasy and sick. His stomach feels as though its made out of thick cardboard and more of a decoration piece than an actual organ for the past day. Thinking that he’d just pass on dinner, Kon lets gravity take him and falls back on the bed.  
  


Staring at the crib, Kon wonders just how he can make this right.  
  


Wondering on that question, he closes his tired eyes.  
  


And prays for the answer to come to him.  
  


—  
  


A sniffling noise jerks him out of his sleep. Kon’s eyes blink open in confusion, staring blearily through the darkness in search of Jack. Rolling over, he distractedly wonders when he had turned the lights off…and when had he gotten underneath the sheets?  
  


Focusing on the crib, Kon hears the steady heartbeat and breathing of his only son. Sighing in relief, he’s ready to fall back into bed when he realizes that the side of his bed is empty. Patting the rumpled sheets tells him that Tim has been out of bed for a while now.  
  


His lips go dry, much like his throat as he widens his range of hearing.  
  


 _‘There_.’  
  


There’s the sniffling sound that he had heard. Soft and hurt, reminding him more of a child crying instead of an almost adult human, Kon continues to eavesdrop on Tim’s near nightly break down.  
  


And doesn’t know  _why_  but gets out of bed.  
  


His emotions feel oddly clearer than they have in weeks. Wondering if this is what feeling blank feels like, Kon quietly pads over to the secret entrance. His mind is warning him to be careful. To not get caught. To turn around and walk away like he did the last times. Because he doesn’t know  _what_  he’s doing or what he’s trying to do here…  
  


But he doesn’t listen.  
  


Instead of hiding around the wall, Kon walks right up in the doorway. Standing there, illuminated by the light behind him, Kon looks around for Tim. Who is sitting on his seat with his head in his hands. He’s too far away to tell but Kon  _knows_  that those palms are wet with tears.  
  


Floating down the stairs, his mind continues to scream at him to retreat. But his body over rides his every instinct to turn away. At the same time, he can’t stop the trembling that has taken over his body. In his heart, Kon is aware that this is it.  
  


This is that make or break moment. Where everything comes to a head. That final battle where you aren’t sure who will win…  
  


Kon freezes when Tim’s breath suddenly hitches and he turns around to stare at him. He feels his own eyes widen, suddenly fearful and scared in the same way Tim is. Kon feels guilty and nervous at the same time when he sees the skittish look on Tim’s face.  
  


Their friends had been so pleased and happy when they had found out that they were going to try to make it work.  _So_  pleased that they were a little family. What, o what would those same friends say if they knew that Kon was responsible for  _that_ _haunted_  look in Tim’s eyes?  
  


Pain shoots through him, nearly crippling him as he stumbles forward the last few steps and falls on his knees before Tim. He’s read about the pain of a breaking heart or being stabbed but this is  _worse_. Because its on the inside and it’s spreading all the way down to his bones and fingertips where he reaches out for Tim.  
  


Fingers reach out and curl around Tim’s waist, pulling him close so that he can hug him as best as he can. Tim lets out a surprised yelp and hangs on as he is dragged forward.  
  


“Is it Jack?!” Tim asks in concern but Kon cannot answer.  
  


Kon hears something  _snap_  at that. That Tim would  _still_  focus on Jack more than himself. That  _he_  is responsible for hurting Tim like this. Instead of taking in a breath, he breathes in a choked  _noise_. It’s broken and harsh, bringing tears to his eyes. Kn buries his face in Tim’s stomach, hoarsely whispering, “I’m so sorry. God Tim, I’m so  _so sorry._ It’s my fault _. It’s my fault.”_  
  


Sobbing more than breathing, Kon’s shoulders shake as he cries into Tim’s night shirt. The soft gray material soaks all of Kon’s tears, growing more and more damp with every apology that Kon gives.  
  


One apology for every harsh word. One apology for every cold look he ever gave Tim. One apology for every time he blamed Tim for something that wasn’t his fault. One apology for every tear he made Tim shed. One apology for every damn instance he had hurt Tim.  
  


 _“I’m sorry.”_  Kon weeps like a repentant child. “I’m so sorry Tim. I’m sorry.” He is very aware of the stiff body underneath his face and hands and thinks that it’s too late.  
  


That he’s waited for too long and that this can’t be fixed.  
  


That he’s missed that life changing moment and his life won’t ever have that happy ending that he had wanted.  
  


Despair fills him, dark and thick like tar. Sniffling hard, Kon swallows hard and tries to regain some of his control. But loses it just as quick when he feels a gentle pressure on his head. Eyes wide with hope, he looks up at Tim. The hand immediately jumps away, like a frightened bird.  
  


Again that fearful look. It makes Kon feel as though something has its cold hand around his heart and is squeezing the organ tight. Wide eyes look down at him, shocked and completely taken aback and so _very_ confused. And  _scared_. Tim looks more like a child at this moment to him.  
  


As gently as he could, Kon takes Tim’s hand in his own. “C’mon.” He coaxes the man out of his chair. Tim stands up stiffly, seeming more like a puppet than a person. And that’s another stab of guilt that spears him. Kon feels very relieved that he’s a meta and has super powers that are keeping him from falling back on his knees because of his shaky knees.  
  


Carefully and slowly, he gathers Tim up in his arms. The teen has the same air about him as a wounded animal. Fragile, scared and so small within his arms. Kon holds Tim tight against him, half wishing that Tim would hang on as he floats them both back up to their room. But he knows that he deserves this distrust and fear that Tim is directing his way.  
  


It’s terrifying seeing Tim like this.  _‘It’s like my Luthor side took over.’_  he suddenly thinks out of _nowhere_  and just freezes four steps away from the bedroom. Kon’s vision  _swims_  for a moment and he’s scared that he might drop Tim in that quick moment. But he holds on and ignores the worried look Tim gives him.   
  


Again, it hurts that even  _that_  look of concern is over shadowed by fear. Kon assumes that Tim is too scared to ask him anything out of fear of being given some snide remark.  _‘You deserve this…_ ’ Kon tells himself, quietly slipping into the bedroom.  
  


Setting Tim down on his side of the bed, Kon waits for a moment in front of him. Waits for that lithe body to relax and lie down. Lie down he does but relax…Tim seems more tense than before as he lies down to rest. His blue eyes catch in the light coming in from outside. They are wide, curious and cautious as they stare up at Kon.  
  


Kneeling down beside Tim, Kon takes Tim’s hand between both of his. He feels the flinch and winces in return. As slowly as possible, he pressed a gentle kiss to the pale knuckles and whispers, “I’m going to make it up to you.” Closing his eyes, Kon forces the tears back. “I promise.”  
  


Swallowing hard, he opens his eyes and looks at Tim. Tim who still looks so wary and…Kon would really like to delude himself into thinking that maybe there’s some hope in Tim’s eyes. But the room is dark and he can’t be too sure. So he presses on. “I’ll be better.” One hand reaches out towards Tim’s hair and gently strokes it back. “ _We’ll_  be better.”   
  


Squeezing Tim’s hand, Kon leans in to look into the man’s eyes and promises as sincerely and earnestly as he can. “I’m  _so_  sorry. I’ve been a complete ass. And just…” Words fail him as he tries to express himself. He winds up coming back to the same words he’s been saying before. “I’m going to make it better.” Looking hopefully at Tim, he continues, “I really will.”  
  


Tim does nothing. Says nothing. Simply looks at him, long and hard. Kon gazes back steadily, unaware of the vulnerability that is creeping into his eyes the longer Tim stays quiet.   
  


A small whimper from the crib makes them both jerk. Tim is already half way out of bed when Kon places a hand on his shoulder and forces him back down. Tim looks shocked as  _hell_  at being stopped. It makes Kon smile a bit sadly, fingers stroking Tim’s neck. “Get some sleep. I’ll check on him.”  
  


“But…” Confusion, sharp and sudden makes Tim’s eyes dart to Jack and back up at Kon. Tim isn’t sure about this sudden change in the regular pattern. He never did like being surprised or being thrown for a loop. “You don’t have too…” The smile turns a bit more genuine, hand continuing to push Tim down.  
  


“I want to…” Kon tells Tim. Unable to help himself, he leans down and presses a soft kiss to Tim’s forehead. “It’s my turn now…”   
  


That said, Kon stands up and walks over to Jack’s crib, ready to accept his responsibilities. And to work on mending his relationship with Tim. It won’t be easy, he is well aware of that. He’s done too much damage for everything to just go back to the way it was before in a night or a week even. But eventually…he  _hopes_  that they can be at a better place than they were before. Even if it may take him _years_ , but Kon would make sure to make everything right again. To put a smile back on Tim’s face. To earn his trust again.    
  


Leaning in, Kon looks down at Jack and thinks,  _‘I’m gonna make it right.’_

**Author's Note:**

> I’m still not happy with this and I’m not wholly sure why…feels too…hodge-podgy?
> 
> And lets remember Kon’s situation that he’s just come back and suddenly finding out that he’s a dad. He’s what 16-17 and suddenly a dad and all this responsibility and trying to deal with this whole situation and his emotions.


End file.
